‘No excuse to rape a woman, even if she is naked’
Headlines Saturday, January 21st, 2012Mrs. Queen Ezeanochie Okonkwo is a graduate of Mass Communication from the
Anambra State University, Igbariam, Nigeria. She also holds a Diploma in Law
from Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka.
She is so passionate about the
family system, the role women play in establishing the home. She opens up on her
book, To be a Woman and how it all started.
Why did you choose To Be A Woman as the title of the book?
I chose the title because, it talks about the reality of a woman,
the stress, troubles that women go through to maintain their marriage and the
home. It appreciates the hardwork of women.
How did you get your inspiration?
I got my inspiration
when I got married. I married quite earlier. I also got the inspiration during
my discussion with various women, the problems they go through in their homes,
and at the end of the day, they come out victorious. These women manage their
problems so well that no one will know what they are going through and because
of the grace in their lives they come out successful. So, I decided to do
something for our teenagers, to make them understand that marriage is not a bed
of roses.
How would you advise a woman married to an impotent
man?
Actually, you may not know that the man is impotent. He cannot
tell you either, so it is difficult to know, but anyone who finds himself in
that situation, should hope in God. It’s only God that can solve that
problem.
When eventually you realize that your man is impotent, what would you
do?
Initially, I will be sad. I won’t be happy with him, because
every woman will like to carry her own child in her bosom, but should you love
the man, then you could adopt or go for any other medical advice. There are many
doctors who could give medical help to such an individual. If they both
understand themselves, they could cope since they have decided to get marriage
to each other. I believe such should not be a problem, knowing full well that
God will visit them one day.
As an individual from the Eastern part of the country, knowing full
well that the Igbo man loves children, how would you advise her, seeing her
husband is impotent?
Looking at it from a different point of view,
no home is perfect. There are homes with children, and others without. Some have
and they have financial problems. Some, the man is a drunk. So, every home has
its own problems. A great man will definitely find a way to manage it.
Is your book a true life story?
Honestly, it was on
people’s experiences; what I gathered from different women around me; what I saw
from myself and what women go through. Though it is an experience of someone,
which I want keep secret.
Do you endorse government executing rapists?
Rape is the
worst thing that could ever happen to any woman. So, if accused persons are
executed, it is worth it. This would force men to accord women teir deserved
respect. There is no excuse for a man to rape a woman. Even if she is naked
before a man, he has no excuse to rape her, as long as there is no consent from
her. Therefore, if government decides to execute such a man, it is ok.
Should another woman go after your husband what would you
do?
I don’t pray for such. I will feel very bad. I cannot express
why. There is a reason why we are married, before God and man but I think he
belongs to me now. Whatever situation I find him he belongs to me now, whatever
situation I find him, I believe we will work it out.
What is the tonic in marriage?
The tonic is forgiveness,
being able to forgive no matter what. My advice to our youths, even to our
married women is, in getting into marriage it is sweet, but sometimes it can
soar, but when it does, they should have the strength to carry on. They should
not slack or go back. They should not mess around.
-Sun
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