Campus Sex Files (2): Dear Professor Oluchi, I French kissed my roommate’s boyfriend and I am tempted to have sex with him

Posted by admin Campus Sex Files, Headlines Wednesday, March 30th, 2016

Dear Professor Oluchi:

I am a 300 level student in microbiology and for the last one year I have had a romantic interest in my roommate’s boyfriend. He is very tall, handsome, generous and a perfect gentleman. He works at a bank. Last weekend, he was around our campus and stopped by unannounced, but my roommate had already gone out with some friends. Instead of leaving, he decided to spend some time with me. We went to a nearby store for ice cream and I came to realize in the course of our conversation that we have a lot in common. When we got back, he played a romantic song on his handset and asked me to dance with him. We danced and French kissed for several minutes and I couldn’t help myself. I am not sure if this happens again I can resist not seducing him. But I feel very guilty, I feel like I have betrayed my roommate. Should I tell her?

Tosin – By email

Dear Tosin,

I completely understand your position, it shows that you are human with feelings. But your feelings are for the wrong person. Your interest in him could cause animosity between you and your roommate if she finds out. Apply some empathy and put yourself in her shoes. It’s better for you to end it now before it gets out of hand. You should tell him that what happened between you two was a mistake and will not happen again.

You should also try to avoid him as much as you can when he comes for your roommate in order not to arouse such feelings. Telling your roommate depends on how close you are with her. She could be a roommate but not a friend. If she is a friend, you owe it to her to tell her what happened and assure her that it will never happen again, that it was a mistake. It may be difficult, but this is the right thing to do.

Finally, it may be very helpful to get a boyfriend to take your mind off him. This is the best way to address your feelings and re-direct them towards someone you can call your own.

Sincerely,

Professor Oluchi

_____________________________________

Oluchi is a professor in one of the universities (in Nigeria) and dedicates this column to support young female students across the country who may be subjected to sexual harassment by their lecturers, cultists, administrators or male students. Having experienced sexual harassment herself as a university student without institutional or professional support, she feels strongly in leveraging her counselling background to provide as much support to the often helpless victims.

Send your emails to [email protected] with the words “Dear Professor Oluchi” – coming before your title in the subject area. As the editor receives hundreds of emails each day, please be sure to follow this simple instruction for the quickest response.

wp_posts